i like chocolate.... scrap that, i like sweet things.... hmmm and the nasty savoury things.... the biggest challenge i find, and always have found with any weight loss journey i've been on... is to not say 'well i've done exercise now i can do what i want'..... i used to do this and well obviously it didn't work... i know exercise gets me bonus points, and at my weight i get quite a few points for what i am doing (because even though i am big, i am quite fit and can do pretty much anything)... i remember back when i was on JC i would go to the gym for a workout, feel great and grab a couple of potato cakes for my drive home... UGH! why can't i stop this self sabotaging behaviour?!? nothing so far on this journey has been as bad... and when i have over indulged i've done my best to work it off with some exercise and make sure the next few days were immactulate... i'm just scared... when i have so much weight to lose i can get side tracked... worried about the big number ahead rather than pace myself and be glad for every little loss.... i really don't want to screw this up this time... hence the reason why i'm posting this.... i NEED to be held accountable... to know that someone out there is reading this and making me take responsibility for my life and choices...
i haven't had a huge blow out... i bought a fun sized milky way bag my last big shop.. (which was Thursday fortnight ago) and i only just finished them.... i was able to make them last... but today i had two, (the other day i had four... UGH!!!!!) i don't want to deprive myself because i know it'll just make for a bigger blow out... but i want to be sensible... hmmm.... ugh... at least i've vocalised it... phew!
gotta dash and get ready for my dance class! it may be thundering outside but dammit i need to dance!
xx
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